I came back from Acen, I went to work, and came home and slept everyday because of this damn cold I had to deal with. 
I apparently missed a lot.

I cant find the words to say to apologize for how i behaved saturday night. I felt abandoned, and i was mad, and my outburst came.
I thought the other roommates  wouldnt be that mad that I was uspet over that either, since I had seen them upset about their own things before, but i was wrong. I know that now.
I spent sunday away from people, thinking it would give time to those that needed it, instead, i spent the day unable to resolve the things from the day before.

I made a lot of mistakes: I didnt resolve things quickly sunday with people, either in a group or individually. I didnt resolve things sunday night or monday before i left either. I drank sat to maintain being Drunk, not buzzed. I became Crunk that evening also.

I cannot place blame fully onto other things that were a part of that night, but they definitely did affect my behavior. 

I am sorry that I made that outburst in our room late saturday night at acen.

Hopefully after all of this, I still have some friends who still love me for being me - flaws and all, and are willing to forgive.

I cannot change the past, I can only apologize for my behavior.

Im sorry.

Soo for those of you who didn't get told March 15th, I found out that my cancer isn't cancer, But a type of PRE-Cancer.

In situ adenocarcinoma = in cell glandular precancer = dysplasia (way less scary sounding)

Which means I need to stick to a GOB of appointments every 3 months for like 2 years, so that this can never get out of control.

poo. 
I've been soo sick that I haven't had time to check on how everyone is doing. Mean while I haven't been checking on myself. I came back from a great trip where I had a fabulous time hanging out with my friends I don't get to see but 5 times a year, and I'm already dreading going back to work for an asshole boss that treats me differently than everyone else. I've put up with this shit for 3 years. When the ONLY positive to your job is that there is awesome free health insurance, it's not that great of a job.
I have to look for a new job, something that pays about the same, that allows me to state when I can go on vacation - not being limited by how vacation time is leeched to us slowly (4.5 hours per paycheck??!!?? FUCK that). I have to do this before I start my next cosplays, for concentration sake, but cosplay is the only thing that keeps me happy in the day to day shit that goes on. So I'll have to do some cosplay work to stay sane. Oh and then I have to look for a house since our lease is up in 6 months, and there's that whole DOWN PAYMENT equity thing that I don't have.

I hate being stressed, I hate taking things day by day, I hate not being able to do what I want, when I want.
I hate waking up everyday wanting to cry.
I believe this is the lowest point of my life. Ever.

I wish there were pictures up that I could have of my costumes, its really depressing to come back from a con with nothing to show for it. Especially since people nearest to me are under the impression that time spent at a con -NOT- in the Masq. is a con wasted.

It's not con depression, it's con loneliness; And I am so alone right now.

Since everyone has posted theirs, I might as well post mine.

Goddamn pieces of shit. I just spent 3 hours at the car dealership to find out I need 2 new tires for 540 dollars. oh yeah awesome. I spent two hours on the phone with greyhound to find out nothing, and my sister calls to find out that they think ALL of the answers im looking for are online and that I should call the fare and schedule number. Look assholes, I'm not stupid. And the order for my costume buckles that I spent 2 hours filling out the form last night, was cancelled because they do not keep retail stock. Well that would have been nice if they would have posted that SOMEWHERE on their site.

I have nothing done at all, and I have no answers, and no one is answering their phones.

FUCK

On a more informative note, I extend to all of the youma roomies the same that I extended Katie : 1 year IOU for 50 dollars. BETCH 
Al and I, we trying
Nana, we cool. 
Crystina, we cool.
I's cool with myself.